I was raised Christian, I suppose. But we didn’t do things like go to church or read the Bible. There was that one summer where my mother let my great-aunt take me to Vacation Bible School at her (Lutheran) church. I don’t remember much about it other than thinking some vague, “that ain’t what they said on 3-2-1 Contact,” kinds of thoughts.

I’ve told this story before, but according to my mother, around age 5 or 6, I said, “Mommy, I don’t believe in God” or some such. This was in the aftermath of an earthquake, maybe a bombing or something somewhere in the world. She was a little bit horrified, but she couldn’t really argue with my logic: God makes bad things only happen to “bad” people, so explain to me how this school full of innocent kids my age could die like that. I’m sayin’; I watched a lot of PBS.

I’m not sure at what point Christmas started to suck, but I’d guess it was some time between junior high school and high school. My paternal grandparents moved back to their native South Carolina. I experienced my first major depressive episode. I had outgrown toys, so my mother switched to gifts of clothing and jewelry.

I went through six solid years of my Christmas lists looking like this:

• Leather jacket
• Knicks tickets
• Islanders tickets
• Mets tickets
• Big Daddy Kane tape
• B52s tape
• Nailpolish
• A Tribe Called Quest tape
• A camcorder
• An easel and some paints
• A popcorn machine
• A Walkman
• An SLR camera

My mother, on the other hand (she did the Christmas shopping, after all), bought me things like this:

• Black and white houndstooth checked pants
• An argyle sweater vest
• A white shirt with a neck bow
• A gold chain (which I broke)
• Gold earrings (lost)
• Black slacks
• Plaid pants
• Golden yellow turtleneck

The SANTAISAWESOME!!1ONE!! feeling of my childhood had given way to Thanks?. My ungratefulness hurt my mother’s feelings as well. Now this could have been avoided if she had just bought me that leather jacket or the Big Daddy Kane tape, but the damage was done. Disappointment had become the new ritual.

That, I think, is when I started to feel a deep sense of apathy about Christmas. My expectations for it were never met. And I don’t think fun times with family, a good meal, one kick-ass present that I actually wanted, and some hot cocoa or cookie baking was too much to ask. After a while, I just gave up hope.

Now as an adult, I am more comfortable living a secular life and saying, “I am an atheist.” I even happily volunteered to work Christmas Day one year. Between relationships, I didn’t celebrate it at all. I spent it by myself watching whatever non-Christmas-themed entertainment was available.

It wasn’t sad either. I was relieved. It feels particularly odd to celebrate a Christian holiday, even if it’s in a way that isn’t all that Christian. I’m grateful for the downtime, but in terms of significance, Christmas is now like Arbor Day to me, but colder.

This is not, however, the case for just about everyone else I know.

Ever been to dinner with an overbearing grandmother (or uncle, or cousin in my case) who — despite your protests about being full — puts another helping on your plate? If you eat it, you feel resentful for capitulating. If you don’t, grandma is insulted, and you feel a like a jerk.

That’s my Christmas in a nutshell.

Still, the twelfth prompt is a good one:

Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you’d like to drink, 12 cities you’d like to visit, or 12 monthly goals. The decision is yours. Good luck and have fun!

So here’s my list of 12 Things I Want to Accomplish in 2012.

1. Get up to speed on the Web Sockets API.
2. Get my feet wet with Node.js.
3. Take a class in kitchen knife work.
4. Go on an overnight, possibly a weekend-long meditation retreat.
5. Set foot on the continents of Australia or South America.
6. Host at least one cocktail party at Casa de Brown-Toney, complete with a bartender to handle the minibar situation. I’m swapping the cocktail party idea for “Improve my home office situation.”
7. Publish two articles in web development magazines.
8. Buy a bicycle. Maybe two.
9. Take drawing classes Done. MinneWebCon. (Please make it happen selection committee!)
10. Make my annual May pilgrimage to New Orleans to celebrate Derrick‘s grad school graduation, and volunteer with the St. Bernard Project.
11. End 2012 debt-free.

So only one-third of the way in, and I’m already behind on my #resound11 posts. Since I’m too lazy to write four separate posts, and you’re probably not interested enough to read them, I present you with this one catch-up post.

December 9: My Best Photos

I couldn’t choose. These two are my favorite, both for their quality and for their meaning. They’re from two of the most significant events of my year: our wedding and our honeymoon.

December 8: My Catch Phrase

I’m so amused. Even when I was bemused or mildly tickled. Overused it. I need a new catch phrase for 2012. I am tired of that one.

December 7: Achievement Unlocked

I made seven resolutions for 2011 — set seven goals. I achieved one: become a better home cook. Cooked a bomb mushroom farro risotto two weeks ago. Learned to sear ahi tuna and sea scallops (with a warm corn-leek salad and cheese grits on the side). My short-rib game is way strong. Pork tenderloin game proper!

That’s not the only thing I’ve achieved of course. The amount of technical knowledge I’ve gained in the last twelve months is mind blowing. But I didn’t set out to do that. It’s a by-product of the job.

December 6: Thelma & Louise

Who is the Thelma to my Louise? My husband. Yeah, I know. That’s such an obvious answer. It’s such a cheesy, hokey, schmaltzy, blindingly obvious answer that I am kind of ashamed of myself. But this trip to Indonesia sealed it. Jason rolled with everything. Food. Strangers. New family. Uncomfortable clothing. Heat and humidity. Crazy dogs. Dead snakes. Mosquitoes. Our forward progress on a sidewalk being thwarted by cows crossing the street. Everything. He is my road dog.

If your life was a television show, what would its theme song be? What music would be cued at the start of the show or when you entered a scene?

For this year, at least, I’d say: “Let’s Go Get ‘Em.”

The version above is actually two songs, performed by the TBC Brass Band. They can be found on the corner of Bourbon and Canal Streets in New Orleans, most often on Sundays.

I chose this song for a few reasons.

• It’s a New Orleans classic, and y’all know how I feel about New Orleans.
• It makes me want to dance my face off in the middle of the street — any street.
• The title, “Let’s Go Get ‘Em,” is, I think, how I’ve approached this year, though not consciously so.

The amount of sheer change that has occurred in my life this last year is pretty astounding. I did so much, that I didn’t even have a chance to stop and freak out over most of it. I just had to STFU and do it.

Y’know, I had to get ‘em. <misterjt>Let’s go!</misterjt>

My virtue: embracing imperfection.

My job with Opera has been so overwhelming that I’ve considered quitting several times. I feel out of my league most days. I can’t say that I’m comfortable with that feeling. But I have reached a point — I think — where I am comfortable with the fact that I don’t know it all.

That’s a pretty big shift for me.

Did you slip back into any old habits that you wish you hadn’t? Did you gain any new habits that you wish you would have walked away from? Did you discover the evils of Nutella? ‘Fess up … we won’t tell.

“Slip back” would be accurate if I had successfully broken any of my bad habits this year. Looking back at my 2011 resolutions, I can safely say that I failed at half (3 and 7 were my successes and I sort of achieved 4).

I am most bothered by resolution #1.

Losing weight is hard, yo. It’s hard to develop an exercise routine, particularly when you travel as much as I’ve done this year. It’s hard to break three decades of eating too much, particularly when you actually like food and eating. It’s doubly hard when one of the side effects of your <tmi>baby prevention system</tmi> is weight gain.

Still, I can admit that I haven’t yet broken the mental pattern that keeps on the sofa instead of at the gym. Nor have I fully broken the portion-control pattern.

I can do better on both fronts.

One Word: What is one word to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year?

Love.

This could easily have been change. After all, I started the year in a new city. I started a new job. I became a ‘we.’ And then we moved in to a house.

Hectic and airport would also be accurate. The only months that didn’t find me on a plane were June — when we moved from Jason’s apartment into a house — and December. But there are 29 days left in this month. That could still change.

My 2011 went a bit like this: start new job. Two weeks later, take a ten-day trip to Oslo, Norway for orientation. Fly to New York City for my bridal shower three weeks after that. Fly to Austin for SXSW one week after that. Fly to San Francisco/San Mateo three weeks after that. Fly to New Orleans for Wedding Week in mid-May. I found out that my dad has cancer one week after that (prognosis is good!). We moved house in mid-June. I turned 35 two weeks later. I spoke at OpenWebCamp in Palo Alto ten days after that. Then my best friend visits from New York during the first week of August. We visit my parents in North Carolina two weeks later. I make a second trip to Oslo one week after that. Triathlete friend visits two weeks later for the L.A. Triathlon. I make a trip to Austin, Texas the first weekend of October for HTML5.tx. At the beginning of November, I make a trip to SF for New Game Conference. A week after that, we’re off to Jakarta, Indonesia for my cousin’s wedding and then we enjoyed a honeymoon in Bali, Indonesia.

Overwhelming was also a candidate.

But I am going to go with love. I felt loved this year. For the first time in a long time, I have friends who regularly call or email and make plans. I have a husband who is attentive and funny and wants nothing more than to see me happy and vice-versa. That’s love.

We had a destination wedding in the city that we love (New Orleans). Our families — his, mine, and our chosen family — met and fell in love. Even the Calcasieu staff loved us like family by the end of the night.

During Wedding Week, we also volunteered for a day with the St. Bernard Project. I fell in love with Sister Judy all over again. And I fell in love with a pit bull puppy named Elle. A woman drove by and thanked us for helping rebuild. Yep. Felt the love there.

One of the hardest parts of getting married was moving west. In Atlanta, I was only a 5 hour drive from my parents. I could visit once a month. With the distance and my new job, however, I can’t visit as often as I used to. But my family and my parents’ neighbors and friends have stepped in to be the emotional and physical support that they need throughout my dad’s illness. That’s love too.

At my cousin’s wedding in Indonesia, we met the bride’s family for the first time. This was HUGE because his parents are both deceased, and my father — now the family elder — couldn’t attend because of his health. So Jason and I represented our family. We dressed up in customary attire . We greeted guests. We ate goo-gobs of Indonesian food. And by the end of the trip, we were all hugs and smiles and vowing to return to see our new Indonesian cousins.

So LOVE is my word for 2011.

Obnoxious, right?

Note, I didn’t capture the ki-ki-ki-ki-ki sound that they often make, as though they’re clearing their throats, just before launching into the gec-ko sound that gave the lizard its name. For that, I will point you to the Mating call of a male Tokay gecko on Wikipedia. (It’s an Ogg file, so you will need to use Opera, Chrome, or Firefox to listen.)

So for years I have wanted to get everyone I know and love into one room, add booze and music and have The Best F*cking Party Ever.

Well a few of the people we know and love couldn’t make it, but I’m pretty sure that was The Best F*cking Party Ever. Words can’t capture the awesome. Photos can try.

If being married is half as much fun as that wedding was, we will have a happy life.

My bridal bouquet.

Photo by Michelle Jones

Photo by Felicia

Just after we made it legal. Photo by Felicia.

The rings

Signed dollar bills at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel

Shots of Tito’s.

Me and my mama.

Us

Huge shoutouts and thank yous to Ronisha, Shoshana, Anna, Dominique, Felicia, Lynne, Mauricio, Michelle, Melissa, and Cheryl, plus the staff at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel and Calcasieu Rooms in New Orleans for making it amazing. As J. put it: That shit was epic.

Fifty-nine days. I have 59 more days to wait for an offer on that house. After 90 days, I (think) I become eligible for a deed in lieu of foreclosure. I have a house sitter of sorts living there to keep thieves at bay and my homeowner’s insurance active. The deal is that she has to keep the house in show-able condition until it sells or the bank takes it back.

Twenty-seven days. Almost one month ago, I started a job with Opera Software as a Web Opener. It’s a technology position with a sales bent. I get to play with code and debug web sites, and then persuade developers that they should support Opera. You should because Opera is awesome.

Twelve days. That’s the length of my orientation in Oslo, Norway where Opera is headquartered. I braved some wicked cold weather, learned more about the inner workings of the company, and managed not to fall once. That’s an accomplishment. Some of the city’s sidewalks were covered in an inch or more of ice.

Ninety-five days. That’s now much time there is between now and my last day as an unmarried woman. We still have so much to do: design and send invitations, book our hotel room, plan a honeymoon, arrange for our cupcakes, make sure our attendants all have dresses, find a DJ, secure a dance floor, oh and find someone to officiate.

Every day I try to remember that this too shall pass. The last month and a half has been a special kind of hectic with no signs of letting up. One day at a time though, right?

• 3 parts ground coriander seed
• 2 parts cumin
• 1 part turmeric
• 1 part paprika
• 2 parts cinnamon
• 1 part ground black pepper
• 3 parts salt (I used gray salt because I’m a bit snobby like that, but table salt works too.)
• 3 parts garlic powder

Put the spices in a bowl. Mix it. Best when rubbed on pork or chicken, though it is also pretty awesome sprinkled on sautéed yellow squash and onions or chick peas.

1. Lose weight. My minimum goal is 10 pounds. I know that is such a cliche. Usually, this isn’t a goal. But learning that I gained 7 pounds in the last four months of 2010 alone and realizing that there is a strong relationship between weight and diabetes in my family means I need to drop some pounds. I honestly need to drop 25, but I am fine with losing just 10. Dropping 10 pounds in a year requires less drastic, more sustainable lifestyle changes. Less booze. More exercise. Smaller portions. More mindful eating.
2. Pay off my credit card debt. I will be entering 2011 in a pretty good financial position. The house — how soon it (short) sells and whether I can afford to maintain the mortgage until it does — is still a wild card. But having a $0 credit card balance by the end of the year is entirely realistic.
3. Become a better home cook. I’m pretty kick-ass on a cook-top. Some of my technique needs work — like how to properly slow-cook ribs in a (janky-ass) gas oven — but my flavors are usually on point. I want to experiment more though. I now live in a city (Los Angeles) with strong regional cuisine and a crazy amount of ethnic food traditions. L.A. also has an array of mash-up eats, and fresh-from-the-next-county produce available every day of the week. I plan to take advantage in 2011.
4. Make new friends and keep the old. One thing I did in Atlanta was turn into a bit of a recluse. Something about that city did not inspire me to happiness. As a result, I didn’t make and foster the friendships I should have. That’s not okay. So my goals in 2011 will be to work harder to preserve and deepen the friendships I have and create new ones. I have a few friends here in Los Angeles already, but they’re also Jason’s friends. I think it’s healthy for us to have some relationships that are ours alone. And this nicely dovetails with the resolution above. If I’ma be chefin’ in the kitchen, somebody gotsta to eat it. Hello dinner parties!
5. Make art every day. I received a One Sketch A Day journal as a going away gift. Each page is split into two small, blank spaces for drawings and doodles. I will put it to good use. Drawing isn’t the only kind of art there is, though. I can use code to make art. I can write awesome stories. I can make jewelry. My goal here will be to create something of beauty, awesome and win every day — even if it’s really crappy or fugly.
6. Give more. I get a lot. I make a decent living. I have a fiance who spoils me. My dad helped me buy a spiffy new Macbook. Our friends give just because gifts. People will do seemingly big sh*t just because I asked. My martini glass runneth over. For much of this year, my money will be used for debt-reduction, but that doesn’t mean I can’t reciprocate in other ways or pay their generosity forward in time or expertise.
7. Be a better partner. Jason is awesome. He’s perceptive. He’s attentive. He’s generous. He’s smart, and pee-your-pants funny. That’s great for me, but am I giving him what I get? Can I give him more than what I get? I want to make him feel as loved, wanted, and passionately desired as he makes me feel every single day.

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

Ordinary joy for me comes in moments of coding. I love those moments when I am trying to solve a problem, maybe even struggling a bit, and then fix it.

That has happened several times this year, but the most recent was shortly before I left my job at Armchair.

We had a holiday e-card that was due to be delivered before our holiday party, on a Wednesday. I received the assignment Monday. Most of the front-end coding had been completed, but we wanted to integrate it with the bit.ly API.

That’s not a problem. Bit.ly’s API is well-documented. It returns data in JSON and in XML. I could just bang it out using SimpleXML to parse the data. Sprinkle in some Ajax and I’d be done, right?

Exceeeept the server we set it up on still runs PHP4 (I know, right?). Both SimpleXML and the JSON extension require PHP5. I had to — dun dun dun — JSONP.

I had never used JSONP before. I only kinda-sorta understood the hows of it. I remembered the technique from some code that I had to modify for another project. But write my own? From scratch? Yup. And it was easy.

I made the bit.ly API request, wrote my own callback function to handle the return data, and finished the project (just barely) on time.

Joy, I tell ya!

Posting here so I sort of remember what I did (measurements are approximate).

Ingredients

For the meatballs

• 2 lbs. ground turkey
• 1 large onion, grated
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese (Dude, use Parmigiano-Reggiano if you can afford it, Grana Padano or domestic parmesan if you can’t. Just FFS don’t use that stuff in a can or plastic jar)
• 1/4 cup romano cheese (Same deal. Pecorino Romano if you can afford it. A domestic alternative if you can’t. Or just double the parmesan).
• 3/4 cup finely chopped flat-leaf parsley. (We’re making small meat balls, so we need small bits)
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup plain breadcrumbs. You don’t want the mixture to be too moist, but you don’t want it to be too dry either. Bready meatballs are gross.

The rest of the stuff

• 3 quarts of chicken broth or stock
• Two bunches of Lacinato Kale (the smaller, organic-sized bunches; see a photo) chopped into 1″ wide strips. You’ll be eating this with a spoon, so you don’t want the bits to be too ribbon-y. Yes, you can use regular kale if you can’t find Lacinato kale. Lacinato kale is also known as dinosaur kale, black cabbage, black kale, or Tuscan kale.
• 1 cup cooked ancini di pepe or orzo if you can find it. You can use Israeli couscous, if you can find that instead. Don’t try to use fine-grained couscous though. If you plan to eat the soup all in one day, you can add it without cooking. But if you plan to have leftovers, trust me when I say cook the pasta first. Otherwise, it will just suck up all of the broth.
• White salt and black pepper to taste
• Bonus points: Black salt (Kala Namak) to taste. (Check your nearest Indian grocery store).

What to do

Pour the broth / stock into a big enough pot and bring to a boil. Add the kale and turn it down to a simmer. Check it in about 20-25 minutes.

Make the meatballs. Dump all of the meatball ingredients in an appropriately-sized bowl, and mix with your hands until blended. Don’t mix it too much though. Then you’ll have tough turkey balls. Once the ingredients are blended, start rolling it into meatballs that are 1/2 to 1″ in diameter. Whichever size you choose, though, make them uniform(-ish) so they cook at the same rate.

About halfway through the meatball making, check your kale. You don’t want it to get too tender too fast. Taste it. If, while in your mouth, it feels like it’s about halfway to being fully-tender, that’s fine. If it feels like it’s further cooked than that, take it off the heat until you’re done rolling meatballs.

When you are done making the meatballs, add them to the broth (if you took it off the heat, remember to put it back on the heat first). Simmer the meatballs in the soup for about 10 minutes. Add the ancini de pepe or Israeli couscous, and continue to simmer for another 10 minutes or so. During this last 10 minutes is when you should add salt, pepper, and optionally black salt (kala namak) to taste.

A few notes about kala namak black salt.

1. It’s actually not black, but pink.
2. Its sulfur content means that it tastes and smells a bit like not-so-fresh boiled eggs.
3. That egg flavor gives chicken broth-based soups a nice egg-y richness that’s similar to egg drop soup, but without the heft of egg drop soup.
4. Use too much and your mouth will taste like you just sucked on a struck match. A pinch or two per bowl is plenty.

This recipe will yield 8-10 decent-sized bowls of soup.

What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

Poorly-lit camera phone photo of Seared Salmon and Greens at Woodfire Grill in Atlanta.

This? This is a tough one. I’ve eaten well this year. That’s just how I roll. The best overall meal I had in 20101 was, without question, at Woodfire Grill. All of the flavors were simple, but complemented each other well, and everything was prepared with an expert hand.

And OMFG the cocktails. They had two drinks containing shrubs on the menu. Violet’s Vice was a spectacular concoction of blueberry vodka, blueberry shrub and a touch of cream. Heavenly. The other was a Bradley: Wathen’s bourbon, ginger shrub, ginger syrup, and if I recall correctly, peach bitters. Yum.

But the best single dish I ate in 2010? It’s a toss up between the hand-made potato gnocchi tossed with blue crab and Perigold truffle (and cream, and I think a touch of garlic, and maybe some shaved hard cheese, possibly pecorino) at Restaurant August and my daddy’s ribs.

I can’t even describe how good the gnocchi was, except to say that if you go to August and the gnocchi is on the menu GET. IT.

But my daddy’s ribs? I will tell you about those. His recipe is based on a Kansas City-style one found in the New York Daily News about 20, maybe 25 years ago. It starts with a dry rub mix of white sugar, brown sugar, cumin, chili powder, salt, pepper, and cayenne, though he has discovered the awesomeness of chipotle pepper and uses that instead. I think there’s some other stuff in it too (oregano maybe?). He slow roasts them in an oven for 6-8 hours. The fat basically melts off, leaving the ribs tender, moist, full of flavor, and likely to incite a riot over who gets the last one.

In the summer time, he finishes them off over a coal-fire grill, basting them with some otherworldly vinegar-black pepper mixture. In the winter, we just splash the ribs with this vinegar sauce and go all in.

I think I am going to make a batch New Year’s day.

Honorable mentions: The housemade sodas — especially the plum and pear-anise ones — at Miller Union.