Tiffany B. Brown

a mish-mosh of stuff

My Lost Decade, Part II

Atlanta Skyline
Photo by Kay Gaensler. Found on Flickr.

Read: “My Lost Decade, Part I”

For years, I have questioned whether it was me or the city. I thought my own inability to create deep, intimate friendships or find a community was internal. But I noticed something curious when I traveled. When I am away from Atlanta, I am a different person. I’m curious. I’m friendly. I explore. I have fun. I make friends. You might even mistake me for extravert. Something about Atlanta didn’t bring out the best in me.

I have a lot of bad memories here. I did, after all, nickname one of my two ex-boyfriends “The Dodged Bullet.” Every job I’ve had here pushed me towards burn out. Before I got with Jason, dating was a miserable experience. And oh yeah, there’s that great big bit of financial f*ckery.

I believe the appropriate phrase to use here is “bad juju.” Atlanta holds a decade’s worth of it for me. That’s not to say life would have been roses had I moved back to New York, or moved to the Bay Area, Portland, or New Orleans when I wanted to. But it is to say that I’ve been here for the last ten years, and that time has been more miserable than not.

I think my tipping point came a few years ago when I realized I had more friends in New York City and the San Francisco Bay Area than I had in Atlanta. Those New York friends are, except for S., not people I knew in high school. I have never even lived in the Bay Area. But I felt deeper connections both to people that live there, and to the cities themselves than I did or do for where I live now. That’s when I started to question the relationship between happiness and place.

Since that revelation, I have traveled a bit both internationally and domestically. I experienced a few cities that are larger than Atlanta. I experienced cities that are smaller than (or roughly the same size as) than Atlanta.

I took stock of what I enjoyed about those trips, and decided what I wanted out of my next city:

  • A distinct, authentic, uncommercial, un-corporate city flavor;
  • Kick-ass food culture;
  • Reliable transit that isn’t hamstrung by a deep urban-rural divide;
  • A walkable city, or at least a large number of foot-friendly neighborhoods;
  • A visible art scene, preferably with high-quality museums and strong public funding;
  • Liberal or progressive politics and policies;
  • Racial and ethnic diversity and an integrated cultural experience;
  • A plethora of opportunities in my current career, as well as opportunities to try a new path.
  • Close to a coast, but a sexy lake shore will do

Bonus points for year-round warm weather and outdoor recreation. I don’t swim, hike, run, or bike on a regular basis, but I like knowing that it’s there.

That’s what I enjoyed most about the cities I visited. That’s what I want my every day to look like.

Next: My Lost Decade, Part III

  • http://www.blackphoebe.com/msjen Ms. Jen

    That city, the big beast of a sprawling city, that sits on the coast of SoCal ranks 7.5 of the 9 points above. No one would ever accuse LA of having reliable transit and it can be walkable, depending on the neighborhood. ;o)

    But for food, art*, and ethnic diversity, LA gets 110% in my book. To quote Tim Armstrong, “All the people of the world are here, Los Angeles California, That’s where” No one will accuse Tim of being a punk poet, but he gets the point across.

    Bad song lyrics aside, in reading this blog post and the one before, my thought was, “Atlanta obviously has bad juju for Tiffany.”, then you wrote the same thing. I do believe that cities and places can be for a time in your life, for life, or sometimes not at all.

    Life is too short to stay where it is not working.

    I look forward to your joining us here in SoCal. ;o)

    * The first Saturday of the month is usually the art show & gallery reception night around LA. When you get here and get settled in, we should meet for an early supper in Culver City and then walk around to the openings.

  • Anonymous

    Truth be told: Atlanta competes with L.A. for sprawl. I am just lucky that I’ve always been able to work and live close to the city. L.A.’s transit is better than it gets credit for, though. I was pleasantly surprised. It’s not New York, but then few cities are. I doubt it can be worse than MARTA, though. Atlanta’s transit system basically has annual service cuts service thanks to wonky laws and a vehemently anti-tax, anti-urban state legislature. They’re trying to starve it. It’s pretty sad really.