On abortion, choice, men, women, husbands and wives

But when it comes to abortion I am the one that wears the pants in the decision because in the end it would be me going through the procedure. Even though my husband’s opinion and beliefs matter to me, I, as the one carrying the baby have the final say about my body and our unborn child.

That’s Alisha Arnold, wife of Pete Arnold, the man behind the site BirthOrNot.com in HER blog post, I Believe In Choice.

Alisha Arnold continues: My fears, anxiety and worries about this pregnancy have been completely discounted in favor of discussing my husband’s opinions about unrelated topics like cars and global warming. Abortion is a serious issue and my opinion and position shouldn’t be ignored.

That, I think, is what’s most striking about this site, the associated fall-out, and our national debate about abortion: HER voice — both in the specific case of The Arnolds, and in the collective sense of every woman. We focus on the fetus, or the men — and it is almost always men — making the policies.

But we are remarkably good at not talking about the women whose lives and bodies would be upended by a pregnancy they can’t physically or financially afford to carry to term, and a baby they are not financially, physically, or emotionally prepared to raise.

Even though Pete Arnold has been outed as an anti-abortion troll (see the CNN piece), I think BirthOrNot.com is actually a brilliant pro-choice strategy. For me, the takeaway is this: If you don’t believe that abortion should be put to a vote on a web site, then why do you think it should be put to a vote on election day?

[Via Jezebel]