The Proust Questionnaire

Via JT → the Martini.

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Being able to take the bitter with the sweet and remain detached and balanced.

2. What is your greatest fear?

That I will never be happy or debt-free.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

That I operate from a cautious, fear-based mindset.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

A tie between relentless pessimism and relentless optimism.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

There are two: Twanna and my best friend’s sister. Twanna because she lived abroad for a few years and now makes a living as a writer in New York City. My best friend’s sister because she has made a career of fundraising for various political and social justice organizations, and spent almost a year in India working with a women’s organization while attempting to find her roots. Bonus points to Cecily for emigrating from the U.S. to Canada. Are you sensing a theme here?

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Travel. Preferably somewhere that requires a passport.

7. What is your current state of mind?

Sad. Anxious. Cynical. Fearful.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Are we talking about the official ones? If so, I’m going with “purity.”

9. On what occasion do you lie?

When the truth would be too mean, or when the other person’s reaction would be detrimental to me. You know, same as most people.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Cellulite and stretch marks. That sh*t will just never be cute.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

I have a few folks who I would really like to see catch an extra-burny case of the clap. Or who would bring me some schadenfreudean glee if I found out they lost a finger or had a permanent facial scar or something. I won’t name them, though. I will say, however, that I wouldn’t mind seeing George W. Bush tumble down an extra-steep flight of stairs and sprain a knee or something.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Generosity.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Confidence.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Ooh!” “OMG” and it’s variants. And the F-bomb. I am a big fan of the F-bomb.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

I am fortunate enough to have two. Jason and my best friend of more than 20 years, S. I couldn’t choose between the two and I’d cut you if you asked me to. They are the two people I love most in this world. But shhh, don’t tell my mama I said that.

16. When and where were you happiest?

In my kitchen on September 30, 2008. And again at LaGuardia Airport on October 2, 2008. Both dates have to do with Jason and S.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

To learn languages quickly.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would be neither anxious nor depressed ever again. I would be mentally healthy without aid of pills or therapy.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Surviving 10 days in Morocco without getting hopelessly lost and knowing absolutely no Arabic and the barest of junior high school French. Lucky for us, almost everywhere we went people spoke English.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

A dog. A spoiled, well-loved dog.

21. Where would you most like to live?

This changes week-to-week. Right now? I’d love to spend a year or two in New Orleans. I wouldn’t mind living in Essaouira, Morocco or Barcelona, Spain for a year or two each either. But forever? Give me New York City or Paris please.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My phone.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Wanting to die and knowing that you are not brave enough or prepared enough to do it and get it right.

24. What is your favorite occupation?

Of the ones I’ve had? My current. I love the challenge of web development. That said, I would be so okay with being an artist or jeweler.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

My hair.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

They’re funny as f*ck and love my crazy a** unconditionally.

27. Who are your favorite writers?

Toni Morrison, Paulo Cuelho, James Baldwin, Amy Tan, Thomas Friedman, bell hooks

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Encyclopedia Brown

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

bell hooks

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

I have no heroes.