Tiffany B. Brown

a mish-mosh of stuff

Why I went private on Twitter

For 10 months I had a public profile on Twitter. I shared the minutae of my days or what I was thinking at the time, links to stuff I was reading, or jokes with friends.

Somewhere along the way a total of 150 people started following me. I only knew or knew of about 60 of them. Then my (now-former) manager joined and started to follow me. And then I got a new job and my manager there started to follow me. And then I had a weird boundary crossing / netiquette issue breach by a guy following my Tweets, and some generally obnoxious folks began to show up.

Eventually 202 people had their eyes on me, including two former co-workers, one former manager, one current coworker, and about a dozen industry contacts. Um yeah, I was starting to get uncomfortable. I actually mentioned that to my current coworker, and he offered to unfollow me. But, of course, that wouldn’t keep him from seeing my tweets. It would just mean that I wouldn’t know about it.

So I decided to take the plunge — or perhaps get out of the pool is the better metaphor — and go private. I did so, and then blocked about 140 strangers who were following me (but whom I was not following), and my current coworker. Monday may be a little bit weird :-) .

Internet Boundaries (going off on a tangent here)

One of the funny things about the internet is that not every has the same concept of boundaries. Some people think that because you share the same internet community or context that (a) they know you; (b) that you know them; (c) that the two of you are friends; and that (d) you would be comfortable with any kind of communication outside of that community or context.

For example: I am a freelance web developer (in addition to working full-time). I have my phone number posted on my web site(s) so that potential clients can contact me for work. Some people think that means it’s okay to call me at 10 p.m. on a Saturday, 11:06 p.m. on a weeknight or 4 p.m. on a Sunday. That’s already not cool — but these folks were not even calling to talk about a business opportunity. Even creepier is when some anti-abortion freak gets your address from DNS records and sends mail to your house.

Another funny thing: it’s hard to have boundaries on many social network and sharing sites. At least it’s hard to do without alienating some people you may know in real life.

I have a LinkedIn profile and it’s always awkward to get invites from co-workers you know, but don’t quite like, or know, but don’t work with closely. Denying them seems hurtful and a little bit rude. At the same time, your professional reputation is on the line. I’m not comfortable with one day being asked about Jane Jenkins’ work habits if we never worked on a project together.

Even worse, however, is when colleagues ask to ‘friend’ you on sites like MySpace, Flickr, and Facebook. For me, those are social spaces, and I’m uncomfortable with this idea that just because I know you, we should be involved in every aspect of each other’s lives. Thankfully Flickr gives you photo-level control over who (friends, family, just you or everyone) can view your photos (although there is a workaround). I’m not sure whether MySpace or Facebook give you such granularity.

This collision of the personal and professional, the online and offline will only intensify, as more people publish data online. I wonder what kinds of social norms and etiquette we will start to see and whether people will recognize internet space and privacy in the same way they regard physical space.

Related

  • http://beingamberrhea.com/ Amber

    One of the funny things about the internet is that not every has the same concept of boundaries.

    I SO hear you on that! Geez.

  • http://beingamberrhea.com Amber

    One of the funny things about the internet is that not every has the same concept of boundaries.

    I SO hear you on that! Geez.

  • http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/01/14/links-for-2008-01-14/ Being Amber Rhea » Blog Archive » links for 2008-01-14

    [...] Why I went private on Twitter • Tiffany B. Brown “I wonder what kinds of social norms and etiquette we will start to see and whether people will recognize internet space and privacy in the same way they regard physical space.” (tags: twitter internet web privacy identity socialnetworking) [...]

  • http://patricia-elizabeth.com/ pea

    I choose not to lock my updates because I post the updates on the blog for those people who can’t be bothered to use Twitter. A few months ago though, while looking at the fact that 60 some people were following me, many of whom I didn’t know, I got fed up and just deleted the account. “Why not just block them all?” someone asked me. I don’t know. It just seemed easier to crash and burn and start over again. It’s a weird thing to publish one’s thoughts online and be worried about how public it can be, but I’ve learned to just go with what feels right.

  • http://patricia-elizabeth.com pea

    I choose not to lock my updates because I post the updates on the blog for those people who can’t be bothered to use Twitter. A few months ago though, while looking at the fact that 60 some people were following me, many of whom I didn’t know, I got fed up and just deleted the account. “Why not just block them all?” someone asked me. I don’t know. It just seemed easier to crash and burn and start over again. It’s a weird thing to publish one’s thoughts online and be worried about how public it can be, but I’ve learned to just go with what feels right.

  • http://www.lynnedjohnson.com/diary Lynne d Johnson

    See, once I decided to come online with my personal site, I made a decision to be transparent. But the truth is, I’m not totally so (I share very limited details about my personal life online). On my blog, on Twitter, on FaceBook, on MySpace, wherever — I don’t divulge great detail about my habits outside of music, media, and technology interests. An occasional I went to dinner here or the movies there, yes. So for me, it hasn’t been a serious problem. But then the unthinkable happened, I made the mistake of inviting my entire gmail address book to follow me on Twitter. I was a little concerned and awkward feeling at first, but again realized, I don’t get overly personalize online.

    With that said, I think these sites need to think about privacy a little more. Some sites often don’t readily make information available that you can control how people follow you (or don’t have the same standards as flickr, which I think rocks). Mostly, I let everything in all my Web spaces publish to the public at large, yet on certain sites (Flickr, Facebook, and a couple others) I only friend people I’ve known in some way or know about. Not simply everyone in my address book. Does a business partner need to see the photos I posted of my holidays? In this case, Plaxo lets you connect to people as business, friends, and family contacts on its pulse, but if you forget to set the privacy options, there you are all open.

    I was interested in waiting until you posted this, because I’m still torn about the Twitter account. I’m not following everyone who is following me, but a lot of people are following me. I think lately, it’s caused me to pull back a little bit.

  • http://www.lynnedjohnson.com/diary Lynne d Johnson

    See, once I decided to come online with my personal site, I made a decision to be transparent. But the truth is, I’m not totally so (I share very limited details about my personal life online). On my blog, on Twitter, on FaceBook, on MySpace, wherever — I don’t divulge great detail about my habits outside of music, media, and technology interests. An occasional I went to dinner here or the movies there, yes. So for me, it hasn’t been a serious problem. But then the unthinkable happened, I made the mistake of inviting my entire gmail address book to follow me on Twitter. I was a little concerned and awkward feeling at first, but again realized, I don’t get overly personalize online.

    With that said, I think these sites need to think about privacy a little more. Some sites often don’t readily make information available that you can control how people follow you (or don’t have the same standards as flickr, which I think rocks). Mostly, I let everything in all my Web spaces publish to the public at large, yet on certain sites (Flickr, Facebook, and a couple others) I only friend people I’ve known in some way or know about. Not simply everyone in my address book. Does a business partner need to see the photos I posted of my holidays? In this case, Plaxo lets you connect to people as business, friends, and family contacts on its pulse, but if you forget to set the privacy options, there you are all open.

    I was interested in waiting until you posted this, because I’m still torn about the Twitter account. I’m not following everyone who is following me, but a lot of people are following me. I think lately, it’s caused me to pull back a little bit.

  • http://www.thebrotherlove.com/ j. brotherlove

    After using Twitter for over a year, I’ve recently gone to private as well. As a freelancer, I don’t have the same work concerns. But I know it’s a small world and the reality is I don’t want to have to think about who is reading my wide range of updates.

    Also, I’ve never been comfortable with the fact that Google crawls Twitter (really well). I see no good reason why tweets need to be cached in a search engine outside of the application.

    Lastly, I grew tired of blocking bots and obnoxious folks. I’ll admit, it feels a bit odd since I’m fairly public online but I think this is a sign of social networking to come.

  • http://www.thebrotherlove.com/ j. brotherlove

    After using Twitter for over a year, I’ve recently gone to private as well. As a freelancer, I don’t have the same work concerns. But I know it’s a small world and the reality is I don’t want to have to think about who is reading my wide range of updates.

    Also, I’ve never been comfortable with the fact that Google crawls Twitter (really well). I see no good reason why tweets need to be cached in a search engine outside of the application.

    Lastly, I grew tired of blocking bots and obnoxious folks. I’ll admit, it feels a bit odd since I’m fairly public online but I think this is a sign of social networking to come.

  • http://bkaeg.org/blog AG

    I dunno.. Perhaps I’m not overly concerned. Methinks that once you make an effort to give others the right to infer things about your bytes of data, undertandably privacy diminishes. There are some ways that you can help safeguard your anonymity. All is not lost.

  • http://bkaeg.org/blog AG

    I dunno.. Perhaps I’m not overly concerned. Methinks that once you make an effort to give others the right to infer things about your bytes of data, undertandably privacy diminishes. There are some ways that you can help safeguard your anonymity. All is not lost.

  • Felipe

    You didn’t get it yet? It is mentally unhealthy to mix undiscriminately with people. It takes years of personal effort, discipline, values, and emotional balance to develop yourself as a positive individual. Most people don’t want to make that effort, thus, they stay somewhere on the path, trying to compensate their mental unbalances and distortions at your expense. Most people have an I.Q of 68, you need to run away from that. Bye, and don’t talk to me, I don’t care, won’t read it.

  • Felipe

    You didn’t get it yet? It is mentally unhealthy to mix undiscriminately with people. It takes years of personal effort, discipline, values, and emotional balance to develop yourself as a positive individual. Most people don’t want to make that effort, thus, they stay somewhere on the path, trying to compensate their mental unbalances and distortions at your expense. Most people have an I.Q of 68, you need to run away from that. Bye, and don’t talk to me, I don’t care, won’t read it.

  • http://serenitylife.vox.com/ TheJennTaFur

    I make it impossible for people who know me on the real to find me online. Going private on twitter was a MUST for me! 8) But then I am trifling for my *screen names* change from one community to the next. It is just a part of my quirkiness in me sharing parts of myself online! Thanks for sharing as always!

  • http://serenitylife.vox.com TheJennTaFur

    I make it impossible for people who know me on the real to find me online. Going private on twitter was a MUST for me! 8) But then I am trifling for my *screen names* change from one community to the next. It is just a part of my quirkiness in me sharing parts of myself online! Thanks for sharing as always!

  • http://therandomn.blogspot.com/ randomness

    I agree with AG

  • http://therandomn.blogspot.com randomness

    I agree with AG

  • http://www.tarahaelle.com/ Tara

    I'm reading this far later than other commenters, but a dilemma I've been reckoning with for the past couple of years is how my public, private, and mix-of-both-work lives mix. on the one hand, i'm a journalist, so the networking and getting-sources capabilities of Twitter and Facebook are invaluable. At the same time, I do like the use of those spaces–more Facebook than Twitter–for the enjoyment of a social network of people I care about. So do I create two accounts? I have two Twitter accounts, one personal and one specifically for a 3-month work project I'm doing, but I follow many of the same people and my personal is still mostly used for journalism.

    I also did this as a high school teacher with MySpace–one for personal friends and one for students. I no longer teach, but I now have many of my former students on my Facebook (I no longer use MySpace). I'm ok with that (nearly all have graduated), but it raises tricky questions, and I had some of those kids on my Facebook before I left teaching. I have never put ultra-private or TMI info on my Facebook, and I never use it for photos (those go on Picasa–which allows public/private distinctions–or Flickr–ditto), but I still struggle with these decisions. I'll have old classmates from high school over a decade ago "friending" me when they hadn't spoken to me but half a dozen times in four years of school. On the one hand, I could just ignore them (I do if I don't have a clear memory of them). On the other hand, they could lead to potential sources or be a sounding board for my work… so do I set up two Facebook accounts, one of my distinctly personal good friends and one more public? I don't know…

    As a journalist, as a teacher, as a lover of online social networking, as a Facebook-Twitter-LinkedIn-Flickr-former MySpace user, and as a naturally social person… these are all difficult decisions.

  • http://www.tarahaelle.com Tara

    I'm reading this far later than other commenters, but a dilemma I've been reckoning with for the past couple of years is how my public, private, and mix-of-both-work lives mix. on the one hand, i'm a journalist, so the networking and getting-sources capabilities of Twitter and Facebook are invaluable. At the same time, I do like the use of those spaces–more Facebook than Twitter–for the enjoyment of a social network of people I care about. So do I create two accounts? I have two Twitter accounts, one personal and one specifically for a 3-month work project I'm doing, but I follow many of the same people and my personal is still mostly used for journalism.

    I also did this as a high school teacher with MySpace–one for personal friends and one for students. I no longer teach, but I now have many of my former students on my Facebook (I no longer use MySpace). I'm ok with that (nearly all have graduated), but it raises tricky questions, and I had some of those kids on my Facebook before I left teaching. I have never put ultra-private or TMI info on my Facebook, and I never use it for photos (those go on Picasa–which allows public/private distinctions–or Flickr–ditto), but I still struggle with these decisions. I'll have old classmates from high school over a decade ago "friending" me when they hadn't spoken to me but half a dozen times in four years of school. On the one hand, I could just ignore them (I do if I don't have a clear memory of them). On the other hand, they could lead to potential sources or be a sounding board for my work… so do I set up two Facebook accounts, one of my distinctly personal good friends and one more public? I don't know…

    As a journalist, as a teacher, as a lover of online social networking, as a Facebook-Twitter-LinkedIn-Flickr-former MySpace user, and as a naturally social person… these are all difficult decisions.