I can relate. Hang in there.

My strength goes out to you. In life, we have to go through hell to come out alright.

I'm sorry to hear that. The only people I know in Atlanta are in the burbs. And I'm sorry to hear about the chronic depression and the delay you'll encounter before seeing your therapist. And the insurance b.s. was the worst part of me dealing with my chronic low-grade depression. I wish you luck as you cope with what you have on your horizon. And I've been there, my situation was frighteningly similar. But 5 years later, we're still together but only because I convinced him that he needed to see a therapist so he could learn how to talk with me. And I saw a therapist and started dealing with all the shit I didn't wanna face. It's not easy, but making the call and setting an appointment, adn then waiting for the first meeting were usually much, much worse than the actual sessions. I'll send strong thoughts your way.

I am so sorry to read hear about this lady. It is not your fault that you are depressed and you have to take the time you need to deal with it...but only when you are ready.

Big hugs to you. Honestly, I love both you and the other. You know, if you want to get away you have people who love you in L.A.

take care and thinking of you and sending you good vibes.

Tiffany,

{HUGS} to you. That sucks. I'm really sorry to hear this. Depression is not your fault, but I'm glad to see that you're taking steps to get help.

Thinking of you, girl.

thanks juliette.

Tiffany,

Hope all the good wishes you are receiving will strenghten you some.
If you feel the need/want to unload at some point now or later to someone who can relate to what you might feel like, but who is so far away that you'll never have to come face to face, please feel free to find me on MSM (you can find me on the email address I have provided with this message).

Hug,
Juliette

nope. this isn't a last-ditch effort on his part. i asked him point blank if he wants to work it out. he can't say yes. he doesn't want to try. so i'm cutting my losses.

I too am sorry to hear about your breakup. Has the fact that you've scheduled a doctor's appointment, changed his feelings any? Could this be his last-ditch effort to get you to seek help?

I am genuinely sorry to hear about this development Tiffany. I know what it's like to manage personal issues that have deleterious effects on relationships. Sometimes the loss of such relationships is the catalyst for a true evolution of the mind and the heart.

As far as intown living goes, I know of a few reasonable places in the downtown area. Particularly Muse's on Peachtree St. and The Cotton Mill Lofts over in Cabbagetown. You should be able to get a nice 1BR in either of those spots for $850 or less.

Take care of yourself lady...

I hate to hear you going through this, Tiffany. I can relate a bit. My issues with depression played a significant part in deteriorating my relationship, also (although, I did the "dumping", so to speak).

Now I'm slowly trying to put meaning in my life and determine how to handle my overall health so that this doesn't happen again. It sucks; but I'm committed to making it better.

If you feel like connecting, you know how to reach me.

Hi Tiffany,

Long time reader but first time poster here. Just wanted to say I wish you the absolute best in this time of crisis. If you meed anything, we are all here for you.

oh, and i've made an appointment. but i've got to wait until may (new patient b.s.) and then get a referral and all of that good stuff.

@frank: i know why i feel the way i do all the time: it's a lifelong condition for me. some folks have diabetes. i have depression. and he knows this.

i'm not as deeply depressed as i've been at other points in my life. but it's just depressed enough to not have the energy for much beyond what i have to do. i haven't even been particularly surly.

his said he was "angry" with me for not seeing a doctor. maybe i'm putting words in his mouth by saying "resent." but considering he hasn't said "stay. we'll work it out. i'll help you find a doctor. i'll take you to the appointment," i'd say "resent" is accurate.

i'm not the one who needs to talk to someone.* he is. he's angry at me for not taking care of my own health -- not for anything i've done to him -- and said he doesn't think he can let that anger go.

@jrf: thank you. you've contributed a lot with that post :-).

i'm exaggerating a bit about being homeless. he's promised not to "put me out." but that doesn't change the fact that i have to find a new place to live.

(*yeah, yeah, i need to talk to someone about managing my depression...but he's the one who needs to talk in order to salvage this relationship. he's the one who wants out.)

Tiffany,

I don't think that he resents you for not seeing a Doctor. Considering the fact that you guys just spent Valentine's Day together and not too long ago spent a week or two together on a really nice vacation, I think resentment is probably the last thing on his mind. He's probably more frustrated than anything.

Considering the amount of time that the two of you have invested in the relationship, I'd say that he loves without a doubt. He knows that you have an issue that you have been trying to deal with and he probably understands that and wants to help as much as he possibly can. But due to your own reasons (which may or may not be valid), you haven't done the one thing that he feels could probably help you the most and that is to see a doctor.

Now granted, you did just start a new job not too long ago so of course time probably hasn't been too liberal on your end. And most people are afraid of going to see a doctor when their issue is of a mental nature for fear that the Doctor just doesn't give a damn and the only help that they'll give is a monthly prescription to keep you doped up and sedated most of your day. But I don't think that that would be the case for you. I think that taking a day or two out to consult with someone about why you feel the way you do constantly would be a good thing for you. Even if it's just to vent to a psychiatrist and get things off of your chest. After having done that, you might find that the days are a little bit easier to get through.

At the end of the day though, space is probably what the two of you need, if only so that you can figure out for yourself how to proceed with things. Is the relationship important enough to you that you would take the time out to talk to someone? Or do you just pick up the pieces and try to start all over again from scratch?

Whenever you need to talk, all you gotta do is hit me up. I got you.....

Frank

Big big hug from across the ocean. Being dumped is never fun, being dumped and homeless worse.
I emphatize with you.

Not seeing a doctor is very common for someone chronically depressed, it may even be called symptomatic. Please don't let what's happening now bring you down even further. There definitely are ways to overcome depression though what works is - in my experience - different for every person.
Please take your time to find your own way out - with or without help -, but please do try to find your way out. Life is worth living and worth enjoying. And so are you !

(FYI: I've been on both sides of the spectrum, been depressed myself at some point in my life (and got out !) and later on have had a very intense relationship with a clinically depressed person who didn't seek help either. I (still) don't resent him for it and still love him, but I admit, I also did reach a point where I couldn't be with him anymore.)

Sorry, as I'm not in your area, can't help with housing ideas.

(Been following your blog for a while, never felt I could add much by commenting... please forgive any spelling mistakes - English is not my native tongue)